By Dinty W. Moore
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Parched brown wood against a hot white sky. ” my mother asked. I see that pole. Both of them. Both of them. 18 pa rt on e 4 SON OF RICHARD M. NIXON The halls of Saint Andrew’s Catholic Elementary always seemed dark. When I think back to those days, moving cautiously from room to room, scurrying from the cafeteria to the small basement library, the corridors remain ominous and shadowed—somewhere no child would wish to linger a moment more than absolutely needed. Perhaps that was intentional. It was in one of those gloomy hallways, on a Thursday in November, 1963, waiting for my chance at the boy’s lavatory, lined up in perfect single ﬁle behind a dozen of my male classmates, with our uniform blue shirts and clip-on navy ties, that I heard the pa system crackle to life.
Did Hugh Beaumont hate kids, and what was it he would rather have been doing than counseling the Beav? 3. Who played Mr. Green Jeans on Captain Kangaroo? 4. Who would you rather have as your father: Hugh Beaumont, Hugh Brannum, a wolf, or an emperor penguin? H[b_]_ed In 1979 Lauren Chapin, the troubled actress who played Kitten, had a religious conversion. She credits her belief in Jesus with saving her life. After his television career ended, Methodist Minister Hugh Beaumont became a Christmas tree farmer.
Right across from the newsroom was the ofﬁce of the College Republicans, and they were so shifty, so smug, so thinlipped and acned, it was obvious they were up to no good. The budding Bernsteins of the Pitt News would sneer at the wannabe Haldemans each time we passed in the narrow thirdﬂoor hallway, and in my mind every one of my scornful expressions, every haircut missed, every joint rolled and savored, was a blow against Nixon, Rebozo, Agnew, and all that gang. Soon I fell into a double life of sorts— wearing rumpled pinstriped shirts as editor in chief of the campus newsroom, sending freshman reporters off to cover the latest student government scandal, penning scathing editorials about fraternity hypocrisy or Marxist professors denied tenure, while at the same time growing increasingly dependent on grass and speed, sleeping through my morning and (eventually) afternoon classes, and spending whatever free time I could carve out of this schedule engaged in late-night, chemically-altered card games hosted by my new best buddies, Hagen and DiBartello.