By Ezra Bayda
Many books were released lately on happiness. Ezra Bayda, a remarkably down-to-earth Zen instructor, believes that the happiness "boom" has been principally a bust for readers. Why? simply because it is exactly the pursuit of happiness that retains us trapped in cycles of dissatisfaction and suffering.
In past Happiness, Bayda attracts on Zen teachings to query our traditional notions approximately what happiness is and the place we will locate it. such a lot people search happiness in issues which are exterior to us. We think that obtaining extra money, a greater dating, or happening a pleasant holiday will ultimately make us satisfied. yet Bayda indicates us that the private and longest lasting type of happiness doesn't depend upon exterior condition in any respect. Bayda bargains Zen insights and practices that time readers towards the genuine assets of lasting happiness: mindfulness, compassion, gratitude, and generosity.
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Extra info for Beyond Happiness The Zen Way to True Contentment
The cycle goes on and on; meanwhile, genuine happiness eludes us. Another pervasive, conditioned, addictive behavior is the need to maintain our self-image. We do whatever it takes to make sure we look a certain way, which is another form of approval seeking but with its own flavor. We all assume a self-image—the way we see and project ourselves—and the subtle belief is that this self-image or identity will make us happy. For example, an executive may have a particular self-image, reinforced by how he or she dresses, speaks, and even walks.
The Gift of Remorse We all build walls to protect ourselves from pain; however, in erecting these walls we create a self-imposed prison of separation, cutting ourselves off from others. Unless we can drop the walls of protection we will continue to experience the unhappiness of feeling separate. As the walls slowly come down, however, we can increasingly experience the genuine happiness of being connected to ourselves, to others, and to life itself. But for this to happen, we first have to experience the genuine remorse of living disconnected from ourselves, disconnected from the heart.
This is particularly true with our critical judgments, where we place ourselves above another by putting them down. And as with much of the activity of the thinking mind, we rarely question the truth of our judgments. We simply believe they are The Truth. In fact, we have so many unquestioned judgments about others that we can hardly see ourselves. There’s a joke about a man who was pretty critical of his wife. He knew she was sensitive to his criticism, so he was trying to be careful. But nonetheless, her faults really bugged him!